I am about to tell you a little secret about me, I trust you not to snitch on me, so let’s do this. Of recent, I hear people say, “Jessica, you are so motivational, real and all this good stuff that should make a person feel proud and of course, I am.
Not because I am doing anything extraordinary, but because it has taken me years to get here. I was not always the happiest person in the room, in fact, I could have passed on as the meanest person even if I was not trying to be mean. This was because I always had my face straight and tight, even after hearing I had a beautiful smile, that did not change until I realized I was doing myself more harm than good.
Imagine, after spending four years at University, I had less than five people I could call my friends. At that point, I realized the problem was with me and not everyone else. The question now would be, what changed?
Well, I realized, nobody really cared about my face, neither did my mean looking face makes me any special or even made people respect me, it only made me look older, lonely, depressed and of course, I lost friends, relationships, opportunities, and many more.
It was not doing me any good, so I spoke to myself like, “girl, something isn’t right with you and we got to change it”. For real, I gave myself a prep talk and luckily for me I listened to the good voice(you know how they say there are two voices in one’s head? Yeah, that is what I am talking about) and after that came a process of self-evaluation and my journey towards being better.
Slowly but steady, I began to unlearn and relearn, guess what? I started to feel different. No jokes, I began to set standards for myself but not to the detriment of anyone, smiling became a part of me, my value proposition increased, friendship? I am sure you already figured that out. Now, this is where I tell you what I did differently. The number one thing for me was learning to love myself, also known as self-love. If I loved myself enough I would not be angry at the world for no reason, would I? Guess not! This was the beginning of the change in my lifestyle. At the point I became confident in who I am, I also became comfortable with everyone else. I genuinely began to care for people around me and oh, I began to receive love from people too.
This where I tell you that the change you crave so much for, begins from you. In other words, quit looking for external factors to change, be the change first and watch others follow. I am not there yet but I am proud and you will be too.